Matter is energy.
In the Universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person's soul. However, this soul does not exist ab initio as orthodox Christianity teaches. It has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self observation. - Monty Python
Lately I have been working on noticing the physical sensations that accompany my psychological defenses activating. You know the feeling, that rush of adrenaline in your veins, the tensing of your muscles and the absolute certainty that you are right. I have learned to be very wary of such certainty. I am working very hard to stop myself when I begin to act from this place. This is the realm of the amygdala, the mammalian level of consciousness that plays a primary role in processing memory of emotional reactions, especially fear. It activates the fight or flight response and makes snap judgments based on prior experiences. Reactions from the amygdala tend to be our base programming, the hardwired reactions we developed in childhood. I have come to believe that when my psychological defenses activate, I am acting from my amygdala. This is the place where I manifest my own fears by acting out my unexamined feelings in the sphere of real life.
The behavior and survival strategies developed in the family of origin when a person is very young become literally hard wired into the structure of the brain. This has been shown to be true by research using functional MRIs. What this means is that we are constantly attempting to respond to reality from a place that presupposes conditions that existed in our childhood, regardless of what is actually happening in the moment. This dooms us to inevitably recreate conditions that allow us to function from these old outmoded behaviors, our brain's default setting.
That would be all she wrote, determinism would rule the day if it weren't for the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is relatively new in evolutionary terms. To quote from the Wikipedia article on the subject,"This brain region has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behaviors, personality expression, decision making and moderating correct social behavior. The basic activity of this brain region is considered to be orchestration of thoughts and actions in accordance with internal goals."
This is the seat of our conscious selves, the brain region that allows us to have some conscious control over our actions. Freud would have called it the super ego. I prefer to think of it as what the Buddhists call the witness self, the Buddha seed. When the prefrontal cortex evolved, we developed our chance at free will.
A funny thing about the prefrontal cortex, it develops in direct proportion to how much you use it. It gives us the opportunity to resist the limitations of our biology and to, perhaps, overcome ourselves. The prefrontal cortex is more than a witness. It is also a governor. We can direct our behavior and make new choices based on the information presented to us in the present moment as opposed to merely reacting out of habit or fear.
The old patterns of thought and reaction never go away. They are a physiological reality, as much a part of yourself as that birthmark you hate. With work - witnessing the reactions, recognizing the thoughts and feelings that lead to pain and bad choices - it is possible to diffuse the power the old, obsolete ways of thinking and perceiving hold over us. The good news is that as we develop healthy relationships and behaviors, each time we make a new choice we are etching a new pathway of neurons into our brains. Eventually, if we act from the new behaviors often enough, those footpaths become well worn roads and we can bypass the old highway. Our change becomes a physical part of us. It can't be undone. The old highway will always be there but it can become the road less travelled.
I don't pretend to know what enlightenment is or even if it exists. The Buddha spoke of the Tathagata - all that is - and said to have a relationship with what is, not with our mental formations. In English, that means relate to what is, not what you fear or imagine to be real. To choose to act from a vulnerable, clear and less defended place seems to me to be a baby step towards enlightenment.
True communication cannot occur in the raw, fear based, reactive realm of the amygdala. Only when we are capable of finding stillness within our panic, of distilling the truth from the passion of a subconscious reaction can authentic discourse take place. To break out of subconscious conditioning is to take control of your destiny and to have a chance to know a world beyond your self.
You're a brute
You're an angel
You can crawl
You can fly too
It's down to you.
- Joni Mitchell
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